Sierrabear

Sonora, CA -- Absurdity seems to be the rule here in good old Tuolumne County. That is to say, how many bar fights or barf eights must one get into to prove ones manliness.  Could it be be that manliness is a measure of immaturity. Maybe the more physically stronge a man is the weaker his character? Could it be my dear darling that those with the loudest voices, have the least to say. On one side we have the Democrats, whining like little wounded sissy cats about the overlords who have made their lives so miserable.

 Sonora, CA -- You know you kids with all your modern technology and all those new fangled doodads, you've all lost something. Take for instance those television phones you kids are always looking at, tippy tapping away at them like there's something so important going on. You barely have enough time to pull up your pants let alone look someone in the eye for more than 5 seconds. I mean, haven't your parents taught you any manners? I was at the supermarket the other day and some youngster who couldn't have been a day over 35 answers his phone right in the middle of the "paper or plastic" question. You know what he did to answer? He held his pointy finger up to the cashier and without making eye contact continued on with his pointless conversation. Then to top it off he finishes his call and starts tippy tapping on the little TV part, as if there was no one waiting on him.

 Friday - June 3, 2011

For years The Union Democrat's Tuolumne County  News of Record section  has been a source of baffling amusement  for the citizens of our little county. The news of record section contains concise stories of local  police calls, many of which are quite mundane, but if given a thorough read will often reveal nuggets of comedic ore, replete with bizarre and often confounding veins of human behavior. These vignettes are glimpses into our community not often seen by the majority. The geniuses at  otherlode.com have been posting illustrations of some of these odd reports. Check it out. 

Sonora, Ca -- How does Heavy Metal fit in to the Tuolumne County music scene? This was my first question for Shawn Bozarth, of One Less Enemy, when I interviewed him after their phenomenal show with Fire in the Asylum at the Eagle Tavern on the 23rd.  “There are people that want to hear metal in the area, not as much as in the valley or the city, but there are definitely metal heads up here….. We just need to get the word out that it is up here.” His take on metal in a nutshell? “Metal is a catharsis, a purging of emotions expressed through our music.” And One Less Enemy’s high energy, adrenaline inducing thrash is the epitome of metal.  The band exudes something so primal and ancient, yet so crucial to the psyche. Metal heads both young and old seem to understand this as soon as they start jamming.

Sonora, Ca – Local resident Vern Tropner awoke last Monday to find his property, which borders Willow Springs Pond in Soulsbyville, crowded with almost a dozen flesh eating Zombies.

“Yeah, they just showed up one night. It was all I could to to keep from crapping my pants. I couldn't believe what I saw. Mostly they were eating brains, but some of them were actually fishing and swimming. The next thing I know is I'm outside, lopping off heads with my shovel. That stops them cold.”

Sonora, Ca -- Tuolumne county has had quite a harsh winter and isn't it time for a reward? The sun has been out for two days now and it is finally starting to feel like spring! For those of us who enjoy the simple pleasures of spring there is Miners Lettuce, an annual edible, spinach-like plant with flesh green leaves that grows abundantly around Tuolumne County around this time of year.  It can found growing in stands in damp, shady areas and in direct sunlight depending on the time of year. It’s easy to harvest and can be prepared in many dishes.

Sonora, Ca – Just as I had anticipated, my Friday night at Donny D’s Waterwheel Saloon in Columbia was full of great local musicians, good food, friendly people and most importantly, a wide variety of beers to choose from. The diverse, relaxed crowd exuded hometown warmth that even the out-of-towners could feel.

Donny and his crew were running around to make sure both the musicians and the patrons were taken care of at all times. And everyone was scarfing down that brick oven pizza that I often rave about.